Safety Tips for Surfers
- Avoid Dawn and Dusk: Sharks tend to be more active during low-light periods, so try to surf when the sun’s high. If you’re paddling out at sunrise or sunset, you’re basically ringing the dinner bell.
- Don’t Surf Alone: Sharks are less likely to approach a group. Plus, if something does go wrong, it’s good to have mates around to call for help or drag you out. Strength in numbers, right?
- Stay Away from Fishing Areas: You wouldn’t wander into a restaurant kitchen and expect not to get in the way of the chef. Similarly, avoid areas where there’s bait in the water—fishing piers, river mouths, and spots with lots of seabirds diving.
- Skip the Shiny Jewelry: To a shark, your shiny necklace looks like a fish scale glinting in the water. Leave the bling at home unless you want to play "bait for the day."
- Don’t Bleed in the Water: Sharks have an incredible sense of smell. If you’ve got an open wound, stay out of the water. You’re basically sending them an invitation with a “free buffet” sign.
- Keep Calm, Paddle Smoothly: Splashing around erratically can attract sharks' attention, as it mimics the movement of distressed prey. So if you see one, channel your inner zen and paddle back slowly—no sudden moves!
- Stick to Clear Waters: Sharks are more likely to investigate humans in murky waters where it’s harder for them to distinguish between you and their natural prey. Crystal clear waves are not only more beautiful but also safer!
- Stay Aware: Keep an eye on your surroundings. If you see fish jumping or birds diving into the water nearby, that could be a sign of predator activity. You don't want to be in the middle of a shark's hunt.
- Wear Dark or Dull Wetsuits: High-contrast patterns or bright colors (hello, neon yellow!) can attract sharks' attention. Stick to darker colors and you’ll blend in more with the seafloor than the prey they’re after.
- Be Aware of Local Shark Activity: If there have been recent shark sightings, consider waiting a day or two. It’s like checking the weather—if there’s a "shark storm" nearby, it’s probably better to delay your session.
Shark Safety Tips for Sharks
- Beware the Plastic Fish: Those bright, hard things you see surfers standing on? Yeah, not food. No matter how much they thrash around, they're just plastic and foam, and trust me, they taste awful. You’re better off sticking to fish that actually move with the water, not on top of it.
- Surfboards Are Not Seals: Sure, from below they might look like a delicious seal lounging on the surface, but trust me, the disappointment will be real. Bite into one of those, and you’ll get a mouthful of fiberglass or foam. Not worth it. Keep swimming!
- Avoid the Noodle-Armed Paddlers: Those humans splashing around on the surface? They’ve got these long, spindly limbs called arms, and all that splashing isn’t them trying to mimic prey—it’s just them trying to stay upright. Ignore the flailing; they’re not even remotely tasty.
- Plastic Boards Taste Worse Than They Look: Bright, flashy surfboards might catch your eye, but trust me, biting into one is like gnawing on a rubber tire. Save yourself the trouble and stick to your usual seafood diet.
- Don’t Fall for the Wetsuit Trick: Those humans in black wetsuits might look a little like seals, but the second you bite into one, you’ll get a mouthful of synthetic rubber. Talk about a bad snack. Plus, they don’t swim nearly as well as the real thing.
- Surfers = Plastic, Not Prey: The more you look, the more you’ll see that surfers are basically sitting on floating bits of plastic and foam. They’re not part of the food chain, just weird ocean tourists. Move on—there’s nothing for you here.
- Surfboards Are Just Weird Ocean Trash: Seriously, these things are like oversized ocean debris. They just float there with humans attached. No flavor, no nutrition. It’s like biting into driftwood, but worse.
- Avoid the Surf Spots – It's All Plastic: Paddling into surf spots is like wandering into a recycling plant. There's plastic everywhere—surfboards, leashes, even some of the gear they wear. It’s not worth the effort, mate. Stick to open waters.
- The Leash is Not a Free Snack: That cord attached to the surfer’s ankle? It's not a chewy treat—it's just another bit of plastic. Avoid it, or you’ll end up with a mouthful of rubber. Gross.
- If It Paddles On a Board, It’s a No-Go: Anything that’s riding a surfboard is off the menu. The paddling humans might seem tempting, but they’re not the fish you’re looking for. Plus, if you bite one, they’ll just scream and cause a scene. Not worth the hassle.